I think I have moved a little further down the line towards something. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a very ordinary man with many issues and problems, (I guess that is what makes me ordinary) but I can see them for what they are now: just things, they don't define me. Some have a nice little label, others have many names.
My dyslexia doesn't bother me too much any more. I know I need to think more carefully about what I write and how I write it. I also need to think about what I read a bit more than others; that's all. I know I get anxious and sometimes really spiral into a deep blue mood, but who doesn't from time to time. I can now see when this is happening. Sometimes, I can even stop it from happening.
All this, I think, is a big improvement from where I was a few years back. And just recently, I have turned a corner in my relationship also. I am far more accepting of things that in the past, I would have been unable to get over and would have stewed on for days.
Someone really quite smart said something profound to me the other day. They said that some of us are better than others, at hiding what we don't want the world to see. Meaning that everyone has perceived issues and problems (things that they perceive to be issues or problems but might not be) which they try to hind from the world. Some people hide them well while others do not. They who do not then become the focus and 'out of the norm', when really we are all normal because we all have things we would rather not. They bother some of us a lot while they might bother others only a little. Nonetheless, we all have something.
I had something that I was trying to hide from the world and even myself. I did not want to acknowledge that I had any difficulty and that I was just like what I saw in everyone else. But that is the funny thing isn't it - I could only see in others. what others wanted me to see because they were hiding their issues, and therefore, I could not see what they were/are hiding. And you know why - cause they were/are better than I am at hiding it. See, we ALL have things we are hiding. That made me realise that I am hiding things and so is everyone else. Therefore, we are all the same.
So, what is the answer? Stop hiding it and just accept it. It is what it is and trying to make it something other than what it is will drive you nuts.
So now, while I don't go around telling everyone and anyone all about how I work, I don't really try to hide it either.
